You can't make the light bulb over her head suddenly illuminate where she says, That's not going to happen. Don't combat every point she makes with correction or an attempt at balance. Whereas with guys, I think when we say the ex, we mean the woman we lived with for 8 years and thought we'd marry.

rules on dating your friend ex-47

Yes, of course you can date the ex-partners of your friends. The question should really be, is it possible to keep your friend in the process. We all know there is no cut and dry answer to this dilemma. Many years ago I dated the ex of a friend's cousin. Is this someone you've known through the gym for a year, or is this a long term in the morning phone call - knows your favorite vodka as well as your favorite former teen idol - kind of friend? But when day is done she will still have her dignity, and that goes a long way. Now that I read this and think about it though, I think it had to do more with how I found out then the fact that my ex was dating a buddy of mine. I welcome different points of view, and open this forum for all opinions and thoughts. However, Bob, saying that someone is not real or decent because they don't agree with you is uncalled for.

And as good as the friendship is, sometimes that ex is just too tasty to resist. Some people are highly possessive regarding their ex's. But in happier news, I had another friend who actually hooked me up with an ex of hers. I could start with all that sappy obvious stuff, like saying: The first thing you really need to ask yourself is, how important is this friendship? Yeah, it's gonna hurt her, and she will feel open and raw. But I can see how bothered you were by it."Do not compare. Do not compare how much better you would handle something with this guy than she did. Do not compare her past relationships with this one. I've had a few times where it's happened to me where it really bothered me.

If this is a friendship worth fighting for, than fight for it. Let's assume you've got 2 brain cells to rub together, and you've already assessed the situation. One of the worst things about being dumped is that stupid feeling. And try to imagine how much more magnified that feeling would be if you make her feel stupid too. Be truthful with yourself: you wouldn't want your so-called friend sneaking around behind your back. You know how she feels about the ex, you know how she feels about you. And be the friend you have been, not the girlfriend to the ex that you want to be. If she really pushes for you to admit a more sided response, bow out. I took your comment seriously too, and ran it by every man within screaming distance this morning, and most disagreed with you, including men that I know are very decent.

This is a good friend, a 3 AM friend, and still you find yourself texting The Ex, or casually trying to crash his weekly happy hour at a local bar. You can tell her you spent the rent money on a massage. Even if you saw it coming, you didn't really it coming. So when he told you he wanted out, you were blindsided. Much of the sink-or-swim of this, will rely on how she feels about herself. If you make her feel bad about herself, she will excommunicate you. If you feel you have to say something, then sympathize. Stop with the name calling, and you're welcome to share your thoughts here.

One of the reasons you have a friend who's heard you admit you still kinda dig Matt Dillon over 3 Grey Goose Dirty Martini's, is honesty. Making her feel good about herself is NOT about idiotic flattery and fake empathy. "That must have been frustrating." If she says he wouldn't meet her family, just nod. I think what we have here is a failure to communicate.

All you need to do, is keep three goals in mind, for every sentence you speak: Do not get dragged into a tit for tat, this for that, he said she said - kind of conversation. "I know how close you are to your family." If you don't give her a reason to fight harder, she won't. That's what that whole Venus woman thing is about, right? It's been my experience that women are more willing to date each other's exes than men are.

If she wants to point out how he never called when he would be late, do not defend him and point out that her version of late is 25 seconds. However, I think that's because they apply the ex label to too many people.

If she tells you he didn't want to meet her parents, don't remind her about 10 years ago when she faked an appendicitis to get out of having Easter dinner with her then boyfriend's father. I think women consider a guy to be an ex of hers if she dated him once, looked at him once, told someone she may have liked him.

If you point out all the reasons why you won't get upset like she did, you're comparing, and you're making her fight back. "All men know that you simply don't steal, especially from a friend.