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So, in a virtually unheard-of move, their label took the album, remastered it, swapped out three old songs for five new ones, and re-released it this March.

, their debut album, was actually released two years ago, but failed to gain any traction here in the States (even now, you won’t find it listed at Metacritic).

(I remember that “Welcome To The Jungle” was both the first AND third video off that album, because it failed to land on the first try and was re-released into circulation only after “Sweet Child O’ Mine” became a smash.) And so we come to the curious case of The Struts, a bunch of pasty British lads who wear skinny jeans and make songs big enough to blow out a stadium loading dock.

weeks before it finally hit #1 on the Billboard album chart.

Four songs in and I’m a horny eighth grader again, with none of the baggage.

I am lying on my bed, cracking open cassette covers and looking for naked women in the liner art.

The band effortlessly toggles between ripping off Thin Lizzy (“Put Your Money On Me”), the Darkness (“Everybody Wants”), Mott the Hoople (“Young Stars”), the Stones (“Kiss This”), and Queen (every song; in fact, lead singer Luke Spiller’s voice is a dead ringer for Freddie Mercury’s), and they do it all while maintaining a consistent voice of their own.

We are a tired and broken and despairing people, trapped in endless cycle of bloodshed and vitriol. These are the Struts, and they are here to make everything better. Van Halen spent years and years playing backyard parties in Pasadena before they finally got a chance to make a debut album (they only needed two weeks to record the thing because they were already so polished).

The result is a flawless piece of cock rock, one of those albums that sounds like its own greatest hits compilation.

I never want to go through life NOT listening to it.

I’ll never get sick of it (just kidding, I’ll probably burn it out by next week).