I think my guy friend is right, and I'm okay with that. He asked you out first, but then you turned around and invited him out.I really like this new man in my life and I'm willing to invest the time it takes to establish something solid. That's a "new millennium women" at work, and very few women can or will do this. Regarding the Holiday party, I agree with this guy.

I'm concerned about one thing: why haven't you two kissed, especially after 3 dates?

This guy is no student of mine (as a reader of "Being a Man in a Woman's World"), as he would have kissed you on the first date.

I don't care how slowly you're taking things; this is far too slow in my opinion. It's just exchanging some little pleasures between you to. Maybe you're not ready to jump into the sack yet, but kissing, hugging, etc., is so benign. I fear that there's something else wrong with this relationship.

Who instigated the "let's take it slowly" policy - you or him?

Hi, I've known this wonderful man for about 2-1/2 months now and we've been out 3 times with each other, and each time we've both thoroughly enjoyed each other's company.

It's been a mutual interest process, i.e., he asked me out, I asked him out, then he asked me out, etc.The last time I invited him to go to a Christmas dinner/dance at my job, however, he declined and said, "I don't think I want to go.I don't think it would be wise considering the pace in which things are moving." We started off with both of us saying we wanted to move slow and develop a solid friendship first and I thought the pace was just fine, until he turned down my invitation to the dance. In talking to a guy friend about it, he says that it probably means that my friend likes me a lot and feels the need to control his testosterones, and that's why he's not wanting to go dancing with me yet, because he's afraid he'll want me physically and it's too soon in the relationship.It makes a difference, but more important, do you really want to take things slow, or are you just doing it because you read it in a magazine article somewhere, and it sounded like a good idea? If you look into your own heart, wouldn't you rather be swept off your feet and have things rush by you, carrying you along, or would you rather try to strip all emotion and feeling out of it, and make it cold, logical and calculated? I'm not saying that fast is necessarily better either, but I DO believe that doing things when they feel right *IS* better. When people set artificial guidelines for a relationship rather than letting their feelings dictate their actions, I believe this is a bad thing and sets a bad precedent for the future of the relationship. You're trying to establish one based on logic, and frankly, what's the logic? Having been on 3 dates and you haven't even kissed yet is a big red flag to me, and if I were the guy, you wouldn't get a 4th date.