Which I know is psychotic,but I was like, I really need a changein my life. So, finally, I was like,goddamn it, Gabe, why don't you just go ona (bleep) diet, and then no one will everbe out of your league again. So, I, like, walked out the door all confident on my new diet,just feeling tiny already.

And he had chosenthis soul food restaurant, uh, in the East Village, which is like,"Great, that's super fun." But it's a really hard placeto be on a diet, but I was a good sport. I would like the roasted "Brussels sprouts, please. Slide to the bar and I started--we were drinking, just kept on drinkingand drinking and drinking.

And I got there, and he, like, you know, like, looked enoughlike his pictures that I sat down,and we were talking, and it was my turn to order,and I was like, "Yes, I..." Sorry, that's howskinny people order. I want this one thing." And then fat people are like, "Yeah, I want thisand everything touching it on the page," or whatever. And a side of broccoli." And he got, like,a smoked beef ass, or whatever a (bleep) normal person getsat a soul food restaurant. And I don't know about you guys,but, like, when I get drunk, I become...

" [LAUGHTER, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE] HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? I REALIZE RECENTLY WHAT I REALLY NEED IS A WOMAN WHO LOVES ME FOR MY MONEY BUT DOESN'T UNDERSTAND MATH.

" "HE JUST ASKED FOR THE CHILDREN'S MENU AND HE ORDERED A CHILD. " (LAUGHTER CONTINUES) I THINK ON A FIRST DAY, WE SHOULDN'T HAVE A DINNER TABLE. THE GUY GOES FIRST, "HELLO, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, MY NAME IS TOM AND I'M A SCORPIO." SHE GOES, "HELLO, MY NAME IS SALLY.

I was meeting a guythrough JDate, and it was, like,my one-millionth first date.

And I was like, I really need to just (bleep) flip the scripta little bit and just, like,have a new strategy.

So my new strategy for this datewas I was gonna go in super interested already,kind of, you know, on the verge of lovewith this guy, just knowing everything.

BUT THE TROUBLE WITH ALL THE LYING IN THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP IS THAT YOU DON'T FIND OUT UNTIL LATER ON THAT YOU'RE INVOLVED WITH A CRAZY PERSON. 'CAUSE MOST PEOPLE LOOK NORMAL, BUT ARE REALLY CRAZY.

AND THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO LIKE A GUY LIKE CHARLES MANSON.