Is there anything you can do to avoid abusers and narcissists to start with? Here's how: Perhaps the first telltale sign is the abuser's alloplastic defenses - his tendency to blame every mistake of his, every failure, or mishap on others, or on the world at large. Is he hypersensitive, picks up fights, feels constantly slighted, injured, and insulted? Does he treat animals and children impatiently or cruelly and does he express negative and aggressive emotions towards the weak, the poor, the needy, the sentimental, and the disabled?

Is he planning on having children on your first date?

Does he immediately cast you in the role of the love of his life?

Is he pressing you for exclusivity, instant intimacy, almost rapes you and acts jealous when you as much as cast a glance at another male?

Does he inform you that, once you get hitched, you should abandon your studies or resign your job (forgo your personal autonomy)? Does he ignore your wishes (for instance, by choosing from the menu or selecting a movie without as much as consulting you)?

Does he insist to ride in his car, holds on to the car keys, the money, the theater tickets, and even your bag?

Does he disapprove if you are away for too long (for instance when you go to the powder room)?

Does he interrogate you when you return ("have you seen anyone interesting") - or make lewd "jokes" and remarks?

Does he disrespect your boundaries and treats you as an object or an instrument of gratification (materializes on your doorstep unexpectedly or calls you often prior to your date)?

Does he go through your personal belongings while waiting for you to get ready?